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| G.I. Joe wasn't as terrible as Transformers 2, but it still had no redeeming qualities. Unless you want to count the tits. But, it does signify the ruining of all the things I liked in my youth. G.I. Joe, Transformers, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, Dungeons and Dragons. All have terribly shitty movie versions. The only thing left is Metal Gear Solid, but I guess those games were enough of a movie to make it useless to actually cast a Solid Snake.
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| Transformers 2 is way more entertaining if you imagine it as a really creative sequel to Weekend at Bernie's.
Obama still sucks, btw.
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| Captain Shitpole McPun, at your service!
I'm writing another book at the moment. It gets hard, after a while. Especially when you realize one of your ideas is very similar to a movie starring a famed basketball player. Don't even get me started on that.
But, I've established a schedule, but I'm finding it hard to follow. Maybe it's because writing schedules are ridiculously impossible to maintain. Unless, you know, you dedicate your life to writing and you have no other job. Then it's easy to find six hours a day to splooge something out. Even if it sucks.
But, I've decided something. I'm going to take a big, long, tremendous, uproarious shit all over the Drake University English department. I scoffed at them before, deciding to let them be biased-ass farts all they want. I'm a good writer. I can do whatever I please. But, now? Fuck. That. They are going to hear from me.
I experimented with this last year, when I made a novella about a man in a fascist society who likes it. My teacher called it slander and the dean refused to believe her comment was bias. Having no other real options, I decided to let it go. But, this year? I am going to take the fuck out of some writing classes and let everyone within earshot know that I am the best writer they have ever seen in that cesspool of anti-penis feminazis and trendy Marxists.
They have a magazine, which is typically filled with pretentious poetry and mind-bogglingly stupid looking art. I am going to submit a piece to it. Both semesters. I will show them what true writing is. I will show them what it's like to have someone who kicks your literary ass. I will show them the true power of words. I will show them that strength and ability isn't found in line breaks and obscure references, but in pure and utter brainbashingly intense existence. It's something I feel like only I can bring to the table and something only I have the power to do.
I will not be afraid to say the word "faggot" or "nigger" in class. Those words only have power if you let them. I will overcome any and all attempts to stop me. I will not be censored and I will not be stopped. I will make these people feel something they have either not felt in a long time or not felt at all. They will feel the power of a genius.
Honestly, I only thought of this because I just read the most powerful manga I have ever seen. Even more so than Gantz, and Kurono even left THE FUCKING ROOM GOD DAMMIT. I know the words "powerful" and "manga" used to only make sense when talking about the Rock Lee/Gaara fight, but I've found something intense and beautiful within the word of sports mangas and chicks with big tits. It's called The World Is Mine. If you read it, you will shit your pants due to the sheer and utter lack of meaninglessness it has. Everything about it is packed with so much, it's almost like being ADD is a requirement to actually read it all. I decided, after reading this, that I will be like Higumadon and I will rampage through anything and anybody.
Also, I made up a new word. I used it earlier. SHITPOLE. Heh. That's a good one, isn't it.
Song: "John Freeman" by Renard.
And the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky
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| Superhero. Bar none.
I would give just about anything to have some superpower to fight crime with. I don't even care what powers. Give me anything but something shitty, like "empathy". The last thing we need is another Deanna Troi.
But, seriously, dude. I would give just about anything to fight the never ending battle between good and evil! On one side, stands the crafty, vicious, frightening power of evil! Druggies, rapists, and murderers. On the other, flying the banner of courage and power, is good, with men and women (like my alter ego) fighting day in and day out! Protecting the innocent from all harm and destroying those that would hinder our freedom! I would do this shit for free.
blv.
I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too! | | |
| You know what? Fuck politics. Remember when I said no more politics? I did that for a reason AND IT WAS A GOD DAMN GOOD ONE. So. Let's discuss something else.
The enlightened among us will recognize the title of this post as a Capcom Vs. SNK 2 reference. I also directly quoted it, which is lulz. Regardless, after not having played the game for at least a year, I started back up recently. Nostalgia was the primary culprit here, but, once again, my love for fighting games is rekindled. It feels right again. For those unaware, here are the characters I use.
Ken- My record of 2007 Groove Points is still untouched on my Memory Card. I look back fondly upon that day... But, seriously, Ken will ruin your shit. I use C-Groove with him, only because I like having my Supers as soon as possible. I want you to feel the pain of Shoryu Reppa ten seconds after the match had started. My secret to dominating with such a basic character? HEAVY. If you're doing a light Shoryuken, then you are not playing Ken right. He is all about the most damage the quickest. Weaker Hadokens are acceptable, because sometimes you find yourself on the ass end of a 3 on 3 match.
Joe- See above. C-Groove Joe is something everyone should have at least passing knowledge of. Now that I think about it, he really is the SNK version of Ken. MAX POWR AND MAX SPEED INDEED! Also, I once countered Ultrugal's Kick SDM with Tiger Kick and AGAIN with Double Hurricane Upper. CHOOM is the word you're looking for. In CVS 2, he has this stupid Super called Exploding Tiger Talon or some shit. It's plenty worthless. I know moves where you assault the opponent's space are excellent, but, shit man. It's goddamn Joe Higashi. Every move he has does that.
Eagle- I remember first picking up Eagle because I thought his kick throw was hilarious. Now I see that's he's a powerhouse not to be messed with. I use K-Groove with him. He gets his shit kicked A LOT, so you always need something in your pocket. It's especially fun when an enterprising CPU has you cornered and is leading by a significant margin. As soon as you go read, you hit the double QCF and BOOM! Seventeen hits and it's all tied up. Also, Eagle's range and counters are something to be envied. Not to mention combos. His front to back kick move can do nine hits if you connect solidly. Nine! Fuck you and your mother.
These three are my mains. They get heavy rotation. But, I like to dabble. Here's a list of characters I really just play with for lulz.
Sakura: Sakura used to be one of my mains, but I already had a Shotoklone in there. A good Sakura will mess you up. She's like a lighter version of Ken. A little slower and a little weaker, but still pretty good. It's like she's meant for women who like Ken and Ryu. Also, three hit Hadoken ftw.
Terry: Who doesn't play with Terry? I mean, he's Terry fucking Bogard. His bad English ALONE is worth the price of admission, baby! Burn Knuckle has amazing priority. Even when I get hit out of it, I usually get in a piece myself. No one ever expects the Crack Shoot. Lord knows how many people I've knocked out of a jump with that thing. Same with Power Dunk. Even if you miss the first hit, you've got that infant-slayer of a follow up. Too bad I always seem to mess up the timing of Power Geyser. I never get all three hits on airborne targets.
Hoahmaru: Hard Punch+Ratio=That's all, folks. End of story.
Balrog: Have you ever seen a video of "pro" players? It's all A-Groove faggots with their lame-ass fifty hit combos. It's pretty sad when you see two Bisons fight each other and use the same combo during the same match. Thankfully, I came up with my Balrog well before I watched that circle jerk. It's really just back and forth. Sometimes I go low, just to change it up. I always end it by accidently doing a Super. NO-ES-CAPE! It's pretty fucking embarrassing, really.
Kim: If there was ever a charge character who was good in C-Groove, it'd be this guy. Alas, he's nowhere near as strong as he is in KOF, or even Fatal Fury. That said, he'll still wreck you. He's just not fast enough for me most times. I usually use him during 3v3, just to have a meat shield out there.
I used to play with crazy motherfuckers like Yun and Rolento, but my strategies were basically copies of my Ken and Joe ones. So, I decided to mix it up. I'm thinking of learning Rock, even though I know I'd never ever do Neo Deadly Rythym. My skill with Ken and Joe gives me enough skill in a bunch of other characters. Enough so that I really need a change of pace, just to show how good I am. If only P-Groove wasn't so worthless and if S-Groove didn't need me to be near death and if N-Groove didn't take so long, I could really branch out. Sadly, I'm left with C, K, and A (Only for shits, though).
Also, for some reason, I have an aversion to the franchise characters. Terry is really the only "big name" I play. Ryu, Kyo, Iori and even Ryo don't really interest me. Maybe I just found myself on the recieving end of their shit too often, and I just don't care. Although, I really do find myself flocking to the minor characters of anything I'm involved in. Rock Lee, Takashi Kawamura, and Argo Gulski nod their heads in contemplative approval.
This game would be perfect, really, if we had less shitty characters. I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT NAKARURU OR HIBIKI. Let's get some goddamn people who are actually appreciated. Andy, Ralj and Takuma are on my list. Also, Zangief, Vega, Dhalsim, Blanka AND Honda, but no Q? For shame.
But, anyway, if anyone wants to discuss fighting games, I'd enjoy that. It's been too long since I wasted whole lunch periods taking about how goddamn awesome Galactica Phantom is.
In other news, my anniversary is coming up. Huzzah! None of you can come. I'm done with school for a few months, and I'm going to make another book. A better book. With titties. And lasers. And maybe carnal explosions. We'll see.
Song: "JAP" by abingdon boys school.
Jesus, this whole post is dripping with Japanese shit. I need to go shower in processed foods and large-breasted women to feel whole again.
(I'm joking, honey)
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